Planning an Alternative Wedding- The Ultimate Guide

10 Top Tips for planning an alternative wedding for non-traditional couples

Ok first thing’s first- CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Getting engaged is so exciting (and bloody scary in equal measure- does that mean you’re an actual grown up?) and your head is probably absolutely buzzing with ideas. But you know that you want a wedding that’s a bit out of the ordinary, and you’re immediately faced with a sea of white and ivory, cis-het normatives and stick thin bridal models.

Planning an alternative wedding can be a bit of a challenge, when the whole world and your Aunty Joan are pressuring you to fit into a boring box, so where the hell do you start? What’s next? What the bloody hell do you do first??

Well, let me give you a hand. Not only have I been there, planning an alternative wedding myself, I have shot well over 200 gloriously fun, relaxed, alternative, non-traditional weddings over the last 7 years, so sit, back, relax and get ready for some awesome tips.

1) Don’t Panic!

My first, and probably most important piece of advice when planning a relaxed, alternative wedding, is don’t stress yourself out. Weddings are amazing, exciting events with a lot to organise, but it’s so important to remember that it is just ONE day, one party; just the beginning of what will hopefully be a lifetime of happy days together. So take a breath. Take some time. Don’t rush into anything. You have all the time on the world!

2) Get your priorities straight

With all the best will in the world, unless you have pots of money and oodles of time, you can’t do it all. You have to prioritise. Take some time together to discuss your ideas and decide on your absolute priorities. For us, it was Food, Music and Photography. All the rest was just extra- but we knew we wanted to keep people merry and well-fed, well entertained, and we wanted to remember it afterwards! So they were our focus.

Remember that it’s ok for your priorities to be different from the expected wedding priorities, and that no-one else gets a say- although they will probably try. It’s your wedding, and your rules!

Make a list of all the things you’d like to do/ have/ wear on your wedding day. Highlight the non-negotiables and prioritise them. Next, focus on the must-dos, and then come back to the ‘things that would be nice, but aren’t necessary.’

3) You do YOU.

This is the big one. The lightbulb moment. The only thing that I insist you must do (Read this in your best teacher voice!) – Right from the outset- you need to make it all about YOU. The pair of you. YOU. Your personalities need to shine through like sunbeams.

So- you love rainbow colours and festivals and want to throw a huge Glastonbury style celebration, complete with fire dancers and festival flags? Go for it. You want a wedding full of cats because you’re both crazy cat people? Go right ahead. You’re huge craft beer fans and you want to get married in a brewery and brew your own wedding beer? Get right in there. You want a tiny little wedding, just the two of you? That’s all good.  It’s your day, and you need to plan it your way. Who the hell cares what Auntie Bertha thinks anyway? 

4) Set a budget

Sorry, it’s definitely not the most exciting topic, but you will need a budget, whether it’s big or small. There’s no point absolutely setting your heart on something, and getting yourself all excited, and then realising it’s waaaaaayyy out of reach.

So make a budget plan, do your research and allocate your funds to your priorities first. Plus, it’s a good idea to have a little contingency fund too, and wedding insurance. You know, just in case.


This is another good moment to remind you that this is all about you. There’ll be a big crowd of busy-bodies telling you that you must spend X amount on this, and you shouldn’t spend money on that. This is your day. Plan it, and spend it, your way.

An alternative couple celebrate in Shoreditch, London

5) Get inspired, but keep it personal

So I’m a proper Pinterest geek. I love nothing more than immersing myself in ideas on there and starting a new mood board. The very thought gets me all excited and I can, quite literally, lose hours doing it! But, it can be a bit much. The last thing you want when you’re trying to plan your alternative wedding, is stress and feeling overwhelmed. The same goes for Instagram and Tiktok- we live in a world where we’re flooded with inspiration constantly and this can be both a blessing and a curse!

Wedding blogs can be super helpful- I’ve linked some of my faves below- they are a great source of inspiration, wedding tips and ideas. You could also head to some more non-traditional wedding fairs! My faves are Eclectic Wedding Extravaganza, The Un Wedding Show, The Alternative Indie Wedding Fair, Alt Wedding Fair and Most Curious.

But, the best place to get inspiration from is the two of you. Your wedding should feel like a really good fun date- choose activities, outfits, music and food which you LOVE and feels like YOU. Choose a venue and decor that reflects your personalities. Show your guests what you love, why you love it and the day will feel so much more fun and authentic to you.

Couple laugh at each other in front of colourful patterned wall at engagement shoot. Rachel Burt Photography

Check out these awesome alternative wedding blogs…


6) Plan your guest list (in a way that makes YOU happy)

Guest lists are renowned as one of the biggest headaches of the wedding planning process. You have to invite your neighbour’s dog’s Uncle Alan because your Mum said so, and your third cousin Rita, twice removed because otherwise she’ll feel left out. BOLLOCKS you do. Your wedding, your rules. It is a great idea though to get an idea of numbers before you start venue hunting- you don’t want to fall in love with a venue and find out it’s too small for your entourage!

7) Choose a ceremony that suits you

One thing I heartily recommend for all weddings, but especially alternative weddings, is a celebrant ceremony. Fact. If you want a super fun ceremony, that brings the party right from the outset, you need to get yourself a celebrant!!

I absolutely love it when couples make their ceremonies super personal and thoughtful. It’s the whole reason for the day after all, so make sure to choose the officiant that’s right for YOU. We’ve all sat through those cookie-cutter ceremonies, which feel like even the registrar is bored. I’ve been to a couple where they get the names wrong, and have misgendered the couple. It’s absolutely not the way to start the party!!

A fabulous celebrant will create a fun, personal ceremony that celebrates you, your love and your marriage in a totally personal way. They will spend time getting to know you as a couple and create your bespoke ceremony- helping your guests feel completely involved and get them laughing, smiling and crying right from the outset. I’ve seen doggy ringbearers, dancing and fist-bumping down the aisle, broom jumping, singalongs, hand fasting and celebratory shot drinking as part of celebrant ceremonies. They absolutely bring the party! You can find out more about celebrant weddings here.

8) Choosing When & Where

Ok- so venues are the biggie. It’s likely to be your biggest expense, and you’re going to need a venue before you can book almost anything else. Try not to let it stress you out. If getting married locally is important to you, trawl the websites of local venues and start a shortlist.

But if not, and the country or even the world is your oyster, search Google or Insta for venue types. Be that Industrial wedding venues, barns, tipis, or village halls, hashtags are your best friend here. 

When selecting a venue, keep in mind your budget, your priorities and what you get for your money. Does it include catering? Are there any corkage charges? What time is their licence until? Can you have live music?

If you’re planning a humanist ceremony, nowhere is off limits! I’ve photographed weddings in fields, in marquees and tipis, even on the top of mountains, so don’t think that you have to go traditional.

Fun, Colourful, Alternative wedding Photography by Liverpool wedding photographer Rachel Burt Photography

9) Choosing your alternative wedding suppliers

There’s two key things that are hugely important when choosing your alternative wedding suppliers.

  1. You love their style and the way they work
  2. You like them as people and agree with their values

These wonderful creatives are people you’re not only going to be spending a large proportion of your wedding day with, but quite a lot of time in the run up to the day too. They’re also going to be part of your memories too! So make sure you get to know they and feel super comfortable with them- it’ll make your whole experience soooo much better!

Remember that your suppliers often book weddings two years in advance and can get booked up super quick so if a particular supplier is a priority, get in there quick!

10) Make your wedding your own!

So you’ve made all the ‘big decisions’- now the fun begins! Remember, you don’t have to have a theme or a colour scheme- sometimes including a little bit of everything you love works just as well! 

The thing to remember is that there are no rules- I’ve been to weddings with board games, garden games, open mic competitions, limbo competitions, a great wedding bake off, llamas in bow ties, visits to the seaside fun fair, silent discos, drag queen performances… so many incredible experiences which are great fun and so representative of my wonderful couples’ personalities.

So scew what everyone else thinks, plan a day that perfectly suits you, and helps your guests get to know your wonderful quirks whilst they have the best time.

And finally… Just bloody enjoy it!

There will be moments of stress, no one is denying that. Weddings are stressful. Things will go wrong. But the best thing you can do is smile, go with it, and enjoy it! Don’t sweat the small stuff. At the end of the day, if you’re married to the one you love, you did what you came to do. All the rest- the party, the food, the dress, the decor-  is just icing on the cake. And if you need a little help and advice along the way- you know where to find me!!

Alternative couple has their first dance in a hall with colourful bunting above them on their wedding day. Rachel Burt Photography

Are you looking for a fun, colourful photographer to help you get AWESOME confetti shots?

Well hey there!! My quirky, creative and fun photography style might just be what you’re looking for. I’d love nothing more than to hear all about your wedding plans, so go ahead and get in touch!

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